Yes its Combat.

Every time I go to make a post from my journal, I decide against it. Either the articles are too personal, have possible OPSEC issues, or reveal too much about the people involved. It kinda sucks for the old blog, although it works out for me as I am not watching over my shoulders.

This place is definitely 100% different from Iraq. Its a lot more austere, wild west, and dirty. The missions are quicker, but messier it seems. There are also a lot more of them.

However, as with anything military, the politics are worse than the actual fighting. This guy wants this, this one wants that, and you gotta try to make everyone happy. I really wish people could just leave us alone and let us do our thing, but I signed on knowing what I was in for.

The mission is pretty rewarding, albeit exhausting, though. Somedays I wish I could give up all the army crap and just go back to being a provider. I am not the best at the whole leadership thing. It feels foreign to me, whereas being in the dirt, patient in my hands feels right and its what I am good at after all. I guess its that old thing referred to as a “calling.” I guess I can be happy that I found mine – that one thing you are meant to do, that makes you feel fulfilled, and that you can make into a career.

My wife says she can’t understand how I can deal with it. I tell her I don’t have a choice, but in the end its deeper than that. I really don’t have a choice. I can’t see myself doing anything else really. I have had two other completely different careers, and here I am still doing this.

I miss my family more than anything else. It gets harder each time I leave, and this time a definitely feel it deep down. The loneliness, isolation, etc. Even with people around, I can’t just start talking about things like I do with the wife. I can’t play with the little kids over at the hospital like I can with my girls. I just really miss them deep this time.